


Burnout

by lmao_dann



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Be More Chill - Freeform, Boyf, Cute, Filipino Character, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Marijuana, Michael Mell - Freeform, Michael is a Little Shit, No Smut, Pining, Sad, Song Lyrics, Song fic, Weed, bmc, boyf riends — Freeform, dont do drugs kids, gay!michael, jeremy heere - Freeform, michael can speak filipino, michael is a bean though, michael listens to music in filipino, michael mell has emotions, my babies are smoking, riends, sort of a happy ending, sorta a song fic, squip squad mentioned, their is tension, video games - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 11:55:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11485881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmao_dann/pseuds/lmao_dann
Summary: This is the first time Michael and Jeremy have hung out since the squip, Michael listens to music in Filipino sometimes. Their is tension. they make up. its angst and fluff. its also a songfic based off a Filipino song called burnout by Sugarfree. michael is pining.edit: yikes i wrote this like a year ago : |





	Burnout

Michael leaned back in his beanbag chair as Jeremy completed the final level of super Mario. It was the first time they had hung out since the squip incident. There was a tension in the air that neither of them had addressed.  
The small things that had changed since last time they had hung out were off putting. Michael no longer wore those giant headphones, but instead kept ear buds in his ear most times. And Jeremy no longer wore his blue cardigan and he didn’t slouch or stutter.

Michael hasn’t told Jeremy yet but a lot of things about Michael had changed, for example Michael recently had taken up learning more Filipino, and now most of the songs in his playlist were in Filipino. He wouldn’t call himself fluent but he could understand it nonetheless even if the sentences he said were choppy.  
The familiar sound of the game drew Michael's attention away from where he was staring lost in thought as he reeled his head back towards Jeremy who was staring at him hesitantly. 

~O wag kang tumingin Ng ganyan sa ‘kin~ // Don’t Look at me like that //  
~Wag mo akong kulitin~ // Don’t bother //  
~Wag mo akong tanungin~ // Don’t ask questions //

Hours passed as they continued playing video games, Michael’s playlist played out loud and Michael hummed along, sometimes mouthing the words in Filipino along with the music.  
The clock read 2:23 am as Michael stretched his back and looked over at Jeremy; his face was dusted with a pink blush more from exhaustion and the hot temperature of the basement than anything else. 

“Wanna smoke?” Michael asked nonchalantly looking over at Jeremy

“Uh, sure man” Jeremy said 

Michael’s eyes scanned Jeremy’s face for a second before he turned and began to rummage through his dresser for a little baggy of weed. Michael wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand this tension between the two of them. Michael just wanted things to go back to the way they were before, but Jeremy had changed.

Jeremy had better posture, better speech, and he had other friends now. Friends that could replace Michael, friends that were replacing Michael. 

Jeremy would never know this, but Jeremy wasn’t the only person who changed after the squip. While Jeremy became a social butterfly and established a new friend group who he called “the squip squad” Michael began to crumble in on himself, he got quieter, he cried more, he smoked more, and he needed Jeremy more. 

~Dahil katulad mo Ako rin ay nagbago~ // Because just like you, I also changed //  
~Di na tayo katulad ng dati~ // We’re no longer like we were before //  
~Kay bilis ng sandali~ // The moments passed by so swiftly //

Michael turned back to Jeremy holding a small baggy of weed he had saved and a few rolling papers he would use.

Jeremy smiled back at Michael and waited for him to roll a joint. 

When Michael had finished rolling a joint he sat back down on his beanbag chair and looked over at Jeremy. 

“Want sparks?” Michael asked holding out the joint 

“Nah man its fine, you roll it you spark it.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah man” 

Michael sparked up the joint and took a deep inhale as he felt the smoke fill his lungs burning his throat in the process  
Michael breathed out with ease as he passed the joint to Jeremy along with the lighter 

Normally Jeremy coughed, but this time he also breathed in with ease as Michael had. Michael could tell Jeremy probably smoked with his new friends.  
Michael was little hurt; smoking was there special bonding time. Of course, he was happy Jeremy made friends, but at the same time he was jealous of Jeremy’s new friends. Michael wanted Jeremy back. 

Things were so different now; Jeremy didn’t come to Michael anymore. 

Where did Jeremy run when Christine dumped him? Rich. 

Where did Jeremy go for advice? Jake. 

Who did Jeremy call when he was bored? Chloe. 

Who did Jeremy text during class? Brooke. 

Who was Jeremy in love with? Christine. 

Michael may have been selfish to want all of those things, but he couldn’t help himself. 

The joint got passed between the two until it was burnt down to a nub and their heads were spinning. Michael was both numbed to and all too aware of the tension in the air. 

Michael’s mind was racing but at the same time completely blank as he lay against his beanbag. 

Jeremy’s hushed laugh caught Michael’s attention. 

Michael snapped his head towards the other boy who was still laughing. Jeremy’s smile stretched across his face and Michael could feel his own smile spread, Jeremy’s laughter was infectious.  
Michael had gained control over himself faster than Jeremy, and for a few moments he just stared at Jeremy as he laughed, his head thrown back against the beanbag, his face flushed and his tiny dimples on his cheeks showing.

Michael had loved Jeremy for so many years. Michael had yearned to kiss Jeremy since the fifth grade; Michael had spent hours thinking about Jeremy. 

~O kay tagal din kitang minahal~ // Oh, I loved you for a long time // 

But now Jeremy felt distant. He couldn’t sort out his feelings for Jeremy. Before the squip Jeremy’s presence had calmed him, but now Jeremy had a different atmosphere surrounding him that made him uneasy. It made Michael insecure. Michael didn’t feel good enough and he didn’t know how to fix it.

The boys stayed silent even after the laughter ceased. The tension in the room became thick. Michael felt like he was suffocating. 

~Kung iisipin mo Di naman dati ganito~ // If you think about it things weren’t like this before //  
~Teka muna teka lang~ // Wait a minute, wait //  
~Kailan tayo nailang~ // When did we become so awkward? //

The silence was broken by Jeremy. 

“hey man, I got like major cotton mouth, pass me a soda.” 

“just a sec” 

Michael handed Jeremy the soda and Michael was all too aware of his hand brushing across Jeremy’s as Jeremy took the Dr.Pepper 

Michaels high was still making his head spin and Jeremy still looked woozy, almost calm.  
But the tension was still there. Nothing could get rid of this tension. Michael felt anxiety bubbling in his stomach.  
This time Michael broke the silence. 

“Hey jer?” 

“Yeah mike?” 

“I missed you” 

And with that Michael had reached over and wrapped his arms around Jeremy, he gripped onto Jeremy like a life line. 

Jeremy gasped, but before Michael could withdraw Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael. 

Jeremy’s grip was almost as tight as Michael’s 

For a few moments it felt as though the world had stopped. 

They didn’t move until Michael finally pulled away. 

The tension wasn’t like it was before. 

Now it was relieving. Like a weight was lifted off the two boys’ shoulders. 

They looked at each other for a few seconds, until they were side by side again in their bean bag chairs. 

Michael had been so afraid Jeremy moved on without him. 

Jeremy had been so afraid Michael didn’t want him anymore. 

~Kung iisipin mo Di naman dati ganito~ // If you think about it things weren’t like this before //  
~Kay bilis kasi ng buhay~ // Maybe it’s because life moved so fast //  
~Pati tayo natangay~ // Even the two of us got carried away // 

Michael and Jeremy sat in a comfortable silence now

The silence lasted for almost half an hour as their highs faded 

The boys were getting drowsy and they felt their eyes beginning to fade shut

Until Michael finally spoke up

“let’s go to sleep” Michael sentence was followed by a long yawn as he stood up and stretched

Jeremy just nodded as they both headed to Michael’s bedroom. 

Jeremy and Michael spent the next 5 minutes in a process of taking off their clothes until both boys were in oversized tee shirts and boxers. 

Michael’s face flushed when he saw Jeremy

He understood his previous self’s pining for the boy 

~O kay tagal kitang minahal~ // Oh, I loved you for a long time //

Both boys quietly climbed into Michael’s bed, of course, the twin barely fit both of the boys and so each other’s bodies were pressed together. But it was comfortable. 

Michael looked at Jeremy’s porcelain skin.

He looked in his eyes and Jeremy looked back at him before Jeremy reached over and shut off the lamp. 

Michael tangled his hand in Jeremy’s hair for a moment like he used to do when he was a kid

Jeremy’s breath was steady as the scrawny boy fell into a night’s sleep. 

But Michael sat awake for a few more minutes 

He watched Jeremy’s face as the boy slept

He felt Jeremy’s chest rise and fall

And when he was sure Jeremy had fallen asleep he kissed Jeremy’s head

~Tinatawag kita Sinusuyo kita~ // I am calling you, I am wooing you //  
~Di mo man marinig~ // Even if you can’t hear it //  
~Di mo man madama~ // Even if you can’t feel it //

Michael couldn’t help but hum the last part of his favorite song as he fell asleep 

“O kay tagal kitang mamahalin” // Oh, I will love you for a long time //

**Author's Note:**

> I think im gonna keep this a oneshot :)


End file.
